Krutika Shah – Story of Discovering Myself

Krutika Shah
Krutika Shah

My story of discovering myself

Krutika Shah says, “I was in 9th grade when I had a severe stomach ache, and I had started puking a lot. I had missed my menstrual cycle, as well. I couldn’t eat anything at all because everything would come out. When the homemade remedies didn’t work, we consulted a doctor. The moment he checked me up, he asked us to get a sonography done urgently.

The reports shook everyone. A 14-year-old girl had an ovarian cyst of 2.5 kgs which was the size of a small baby. My family wouldn’t believe it and so decides to take a second opinion. We went to Nanavati Hospital and consulted gynaecologist who told us to an MRI scan. The size of the cyst had increased and was needed to be operated immediately.
Since it was in my ovary, they had to remove it, and the doctor told if the cells spread up till the uterus we will have to remove it too. I remember before the operation while signing the documents my parents were crying because there was a clause that mentioned that I might not be able to conceive in the future.

When I entered the operation theatre for the first time in my life, I was scared like anything. I was given anaesthesia, and the room temperature was set to -5 degree to control the blood loss. To seal the stitches, the doctor had put 24 stapling pins from my navel to down. When I came out of the operation theatre, I was jumping on my bed out of shiver.
Fortunately, my tumour didn’t spread to the uterus.

Although it was a non malignant (noncancerous) tumour, the doctor still recommended chemotherapy. Being from a middle-class family, my family had to break all FDs to manage the finances.
My life took a turn here, and I was admitted to the hospital for three cycles of chemotherapies which lasted for 21 days each.

The first chemo wasn’t that bad since they had diluted the infections. However, I lost my thick long and black hair with my second chemotherapy. The chemotherapy burnt my entire skin and body, and the injections were painful. The worst part was when doctors would keep injecting and removing the needles because they weren’t able to find my nerves to insert.
I had become lifeless with the last chemotherapy and would cry my heart out. My parents would sit by my bed and chant prayers to calm me. But as they say, after every night, there is a bright day ahead awaiting. Things started getting better with time, and I got used to the pain and all of the swollen hands, the rashes, the hair fall.

My Dad used to secretly bring pizza from Dominos for me and parathas from Khasiyat. He would hide it so that no one would come to know. My mother was by my side standing strong and never showed to us even the slightest bit of the pain she was going through. My best friend used to make sure to do little things that made me happy. My school friends and teachers surprised me once by visiting me and gave me get well soon cards.
Soon the chemotherapies ended and I started curing. Though I had lost my thick long black hair, I had regrown lovely curls.  I started loving myself even more as I had known how precious this life is to me. I had nearly to take rebirth, and there was another chance to live.
A lot of people feel that I might not be able to conceive in the future, but you know what,
Fuck them. I have known what I have been through in life, and everything has given me more confidence to live and rebuilt myself, and I promise to make most of the new life that I have got.”